Crocheter's Anon: "...And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve..."

I have nothing witty to say about this.

There’s a theme to my mad, evil genius blogging skills. Have you figured it out yet kind readers? Yes, I realize that 1.) Half of you are probably about to exit the blog to watch When Harry Met Sally and 2.) I just updated the blog which leads to … 3.) Emma’s Mommy (also known as the Incredible Rachel… I.R. for short) has been hounding me (very nicely) about updating my blog… for four months. She’s a dedicated fan. I assure you. Not like the crazy creepy follow kind because she’s too incredible to ever be creepy. She did give birth to my favorite four (well, now she’s five months) month old. I’m honorary aunt. The family just doesn’t know it yet…

Another stolen picture. Of my two of my favorites. See? Way too incredible to be creepy!

I had an honorary uncle once. Uncle Larry. (Warning: tangent having nothing to do with anything except being mildly amusing… I hope). Uncle Larry was pretty awesome. He’s my dad’s best friend from high school.

That's right! My dad was a matador!

I think my daddy is way too Irish to be a Matador.

Why am I talking about Larry being awesome in past tense… because when I was in middle school my parents broke the news to me that one of my favorite uncles… was not actually my uncle. The whole time I really thought we were related. How earth shattering is that? I went through a phase of calling him “Hey… you…” or “….. Larry….” but now? I’m pretty cool with it. He’s gained back his ranks to Uncle Larry again.
What’s Uncle Larry or the Incredible Rachel and my favorite (now) five month old have to do with crocheting and When Harry Met Sally? Answer: Absolutely nothing. Don’t loose me now! DON’T TOUCH PLAY! I’m working the blog skills! (Or should I say Skillz… what makes me hipper? Not to be confused with hyper. The answer to that one is not a shot of tequila because that makes me sick, but Marshmallow Treasures! Think Lucky Charms, but cooler. Because there’s dolphins).

They are not just magically delicious... they are filled with pirate themed marshmallows!

My tie in: When Harry Met Sally, one of the greatest films ever because my mother HATES it. (I’m kidding. Well, she does hate it… but that’s not why I like it. My mom and I have a very good relationship. See below.)

This was a really long time ago. I look really tall! Shut up! I'm not on a mound of dirt!

The ending, if you recall, where Harry makes his famous “I love you because of all these things you do” speech takes place around New Year's. I know, I promised pie and baby mobiles on the next post… and it’s coming… but I just made a Christmas blog and now I have to do a New Year’s Blog. And that is where we get into crocheting my fellow crochet junkies.
In 2009 (Okay yeah, I know) on New Year’s Eve (SHUT UP) I started a project (Seriously, shut it). I was crocheting everyone’s favorite green frog. Hint: It’s not easy being green. (The first person to even think something other than Kermit will be flogged.) Yup. I started him New Year’s Eve. I brought 2010 in by crocheting Kermit the Frog.

Seriously, who doesn't love Kermit?

I bring him up now because…. It’s now 2011. A brand New Year… and Kermit… .Is still… NOT… done. Kermit is eyeless.

Somehow Kermit is not that cute eyeless.

I am going to finish him in ten minutes….. TO START 2011 OFF ON THE RIGHT KERMIT EYE... erm foot. I know what you are thinking… why has Kermit the Frog been blind and eyeless (redundant? Maybe. I thought I should add more details) for a whole year? Well see, I made his eyes on January 1, 2010.

Blurry Kermit eyes... or is that dust?

But I really hate to embroider. Why? Because BAD THINGS HAPPEN. Instead, I paint eyes on with non toxic fabric paint. In the case of Kermit, I crocheted the whites of his eyes (because they are 3-D on Kermit, I don’t know if you noticed that) and then I painted on the little black part. I had to let it dry of course. And then when they dried…. Well they just never got sewn on for one reason: I HATE SEWING. Why? Because I hate it! Like Embroidery! BAAAH!!!!

I want my eyes Mandy! I'LL HAUNT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!

But today is THE day! I WILL FINISH KERMIT!!! Poor dude. Now my blogees (I assume a blogee reads blogs while a blogger writes blogs) hang tight (you too Microsoft Word…. Do not close!) I will SAVE Kermit!

Seriously woman! MY EYES!

Surgery! STAT!

Your room... is A MESS! (I bet you didn't realize Kermit was so mean, huh?)

Is that an eye booger string? Why... yes, it is.

On an aside (Warning: Another tangent)… I love When Harry Met Sally because they mention… pecan PIE!

Mmmm pie!

On another aside... the Incredible Rachel... and her wonderful husband (Awesome Kenney... also known as plain Kenney and the father of my favorite five month old) bought me this really cool thing: